Murphy's laws on parenting

The first law of parenting

No one really wants to take your position, but anyone thinks they could do better.

The second law of parenting

Those who think they could do better on these responsibilities fail particularly hard when given the chance.

Mother Murphy's laws

1. Everything your parents did was not right.

2. Now that you have become a parent yourself, everything you do is not working out right.

3. Your children will take credit for absolutely everything that turns out as it should.

Consequence

The more you try not to repeat the mistakes of your parents, the more likely it will be.

Best tips from Mother Murphy

1. Hope for the best.

2. Prepare for the worst.

3. Love them no matter what happens.

Consequence

The higher your expectations, the more frustrated you will be.

Mother Murphy's opening

Mommies know better ... but nobody listens to them.

Sly trap

It is much easier to take on parenting responsibility than to get rid of it.

Not on the forehead, so on the forehead!

If your spouse has not yet brought you to disability, or at least to white heat, your children will.

Theresa Bloomingdale's discovery

Murphy couldn't help but be a mother.

Brief description of the nature of the work done by the parents

1. Parenting is a 24/7 job with no pay, no pay raises, no promotions, and a minimum of vacations.

2. Parents are responsible for everything that happens to their children.

3. The main occupational diseases of parents are feelings of guilt and a sense of responsibility for all the sins of their children.

4. Parents do not receive compensation for harm or other additional benefits for special working conditions.

5. Parents never have the right to quit - even when their children strongly ask them to do so.

6. Parents do not receive any signs of attention or respect until they die - and then it is too late.

The doctrine of fearsome responsibility

The more you think about the frightening fact that it is you who are fully responsible for human life, the more you lose sight of another fact, namely: whatever you say or do, your child will pay little or nothing to it anyway. zero attention and will blithely do whatever he or she pleases.

The law of good and bad

1. Bad traits in a child are always inherited from the family of your spouse.

2. Good traits are naturally inherited from your family.

Lesson for parents

1. By the time you finally learn something about parenting, you are already a grandparent.

2. The only thing that you will really learn is that you will understand how little you know about this.

The limits of your patience

1. You don't know what the limits of your patience are until you have children.

2. From infancy onwards, your children will discover these limits and push you beyond them.

Parents Advice Act

Whatever advice you give your kids, they will ignore 80 percent and twist the rest.

Rehabilitation of grandparents

You can never fully appreciate how difficult it was for your parents and what they had to sacrifice, until you yourself have your own children. This is why your parents are so happy when you have children of your own.

Grandma's law of omniscience

Your mommy knows best. And absolutely everything. And she will never let you forget about it.

Consequence

You didn't listen to her when you were young ... and you still don't.

Consolation advice

1. Your parents will be much less angry with your children than they once were with you.

2. You, too, would be less angry with your children if you saw them only once or twice a month and could send them home as soon as they misbehave.

Pampering competition

The tougher you are with your children, the harder your parents will go out of their way to spoil them.

Silly classification

Why are mothers who work called "working mothers"? After all, fathers who work are not called "working fathers"!

Alternative to supermother

You don't need to be a supermother to be successful in both your career and raising your child at the same time. All you need to do this is a job with an annual salary of $ 75,000 and help from your roommate.

Salary increase duty

The next day, after you get a raise at work, your private day care center will politely inform you that the child's pay is increasing.

Addition

This increase in pay will exceed your salary increase.

Supermother syndrome

An excellent mother can always be figured out by the way she behaves during a business breakfast. If a woman reaches into her pocket for a credit card and pulls out a nipple instead, that is she.